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“What’s going on?” Now I’m a nasty balloon I mean, all balloons are nasty, they’re rubbery and they stink, and they’ll burst on you in theabout this A very, very bad feeling The mushy, pinpricked, defective balloon that never blows up at all, or that skinny balloon that you can’t bloith your mouth no matter how hard you try, even if you try until you’re beyond purple in the face and it feels like your head is going to literally explode kind of feeling

“This can’t be right”

“Just tell me”

“Well…” Luna drags that word out, hesitating the whole way I wait And wait And wait Finally, because she’s an honest person and she knows I’ll find out for myself and she cares about oes for it “It appears that all of the flowers in the bouquet have bad s Well, maybe not bad, but uh- not pleasant Maybe there’s so to this book He even has soht”

I have to ad at the end of it Why? Why do I always, always,ALWAYS pick the assholes?

“Like what?” I e to rasp “Tell me”

Luna hedges She still doesn’t want to tell uess, for exauess, heart pain, heartache, heartbreak That kind of thing Aneain with love I’ve never even heard of this flower, asphodel, but it’s a potent one It rave, and it’s supposed to be paired with ht there, to indicate an even more potent eff you And that? My app tellsto this, means hate Like, yikes And that purple one? That’s lavender, which means untrustworthiness That pink petunia, well, I think it probably goes for any petunia, but it syarden plants and others are like, fro that can be easily found in a flower shop He went through a lot of effort to put this together and probably paid big bucks”

I shrug like I’ the world’s worst bouquet and a freaking book to decode it so the e isn’t even subtle Yeah I’ and is about to freaking blow

“Is this soly “He took the tiether? And a book? And he returned your earring? It doesn’tfun of you or like he has a sick, sick sense of humor”

“I didn’t get the vibe that soht when it comes to me?” I know that smacks of self-pity, but whatever I’ve had a year of pure assholes, hurtful moments, and disappointments to help me perfect it This one is just the top of the top of the shitWhy did I think that this one would be any different?

It ht about that night That incredible night That so So wonderful So unforgettable

Fu, I pick up my phone because I already have a plan And an address Because yes, I have a et the walk of sha ht that was that wonderful and doesn’t that just iant freak now?) anytime soon

“Two can play at being a brown old butthole Well, no one is going to out assholefor him”

Luna chuckles a dark, evil sounding chuckle that I didn’t know she was capable of et whatever he has cood, I love her for that For being protective of side me when so- never ht there

Within twenty ed for Daniel’s address A very special bouquet And a very handy appliance I think it’s an appliance? I’m not sure, I just know that the hardware store was very acco