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“Is that proposal?”

“No, it’s a declaration of intent, like a prorown up shit”

She giggles “Is that so?”

“It is If you still want that”

“I do” The humor leaves her face “But we need to have a serious talk first”

“What’s wrong?”

She e of the bed

“We haven’t spoken reat detail Do you want a house or an apartet married, will therewill there be kids?”

I stare, unable to answer her Right now the thought of another child is horrifying It feels like a betrayal—the memory of the boy whose body isn’t even cold yet, and a chance to get what’s left of my heart trounced on Bile rises in my throat

“I didn’t want to ask that I know it’s too soon, and I’ totomorrow, or even six months from nowjust one day If you don’t think you

can, it’s okay”

I bow ht now, Quinn It makes me sick to my stomach”

She sighs “Then save this promise until you know one way or the other”

“And in the meantime?” I ask as my voice shakes

“We figure it out as we go”