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“You okay, Oliver?”

“Yeah, Dad I’ll be out in a minute”

Gathering myself stand, I step out into the hallway

“It’s okay to miss him, and to continue to deal with this loss the best way you can There’s no shame in that, and no one expects you to simply bounce back We’re here for you to lean on” He squeezes ht

“I miss him so much, Dad”

“I know you do, son”

“I want to know that he’s okay, and at peace It haunts norant Quinn expressed her concern and I waved it off Knowing all I had to do was listen to her, and this ets me the most” My voice cracks

He cups the back ofa small boy—when my parents’ wisdo would be okay “You can’t live your life wondering ould’ve happened You can’t turn back tih life hating myself for the mistakes I made It ate me from the inside out and souredpoison that’ll ruin everything you touch I refuse to sit here and let you ood woman, a job you love, and fae of that I also think you should see a counselor This is too big for you on your own”

“Why do I deserve absolution?” I jerk away from him “I should be tormented for the rest of my life”

“No, son, and hearing you say that aloud, should be a sign to us both howplace at the wrong time, and so were Quinn and Roland No one left this situation unscathed”

“But why him, Dad? Why my boy?”

He shakes his head, and his eyes shine in the light “That I can’t answer I wish I could No one knows that”

I dash at my eyes and sniff

“Better?” he asks

“A little”