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A letter caht that it would confir start date, it said instead that the course had been withdrawn due to lack of interest She opened it while they were having breakfast, and sla left a dented crack in the formica David watched her, a slice of toast halfway to hisacross the table to read the letter for himself No, no, no, she said, her voice brisk and deterh She stood up, and her voice rose with her, building to a rarely heard shout They already accepted my application David They said it would be okay! They can't do this! He stood, and held her, and her voice fell away again Can they? she said

She telephoned the admissions office, and they said they were very sorry but they'd had no alternative They hoped to be able to run the course the following year, they said, and she slammed down the phone with a yell of frustration He tried to persuade her to try another university - Birham, or Leicester, or one of the new polytechnics - but so she seeood idea, she said Maybe it's not what I'm cut out for He sent off for the prospectuses, but she just smiled and said thank you and put theain next year, eh?

30 Girls hairbrush, wooden-handled, c 1940s

And then she told hi home It happened quickly, she said One day she was there and the next she was gone I woke up in thedownstairs, shouting, Tessa and my ma and da, in the front roo and all sorts I heard Tessa co, and then it sounded like she fell

She was eight years old when it happened, ten years younger than her sister, lying in bed with the covers pulled up over her face, trying not to listen to as going on But she could hear herwhere were you? Where've you been? over and over again, and Tessa yelling nowhere, nowhere, what do you mind? in return She could hear her father, his voice low and insistent, and she could picture hi to lower Ivy's raised hands

She knew that there'd been talk, Talk of a man Tessa had been seen with, and how much she'd been seen with him She didn't knohat it meant to be seen with someone, but she knew that her parents didn't like it Folk have been talking, her mother had said a feeeks earlier; I'll not have folk talking about any family of mine, you hear me?

Eleanor lay in bed, wondering what people had been saying, wondering when the shouting was going to stop She heard her? She heard her sister's voice saying so she couldn't quite catch, a slap, and a sudden clatter of footsteps up the stairs She lifted the covers, peering out froain as soon as the door swung open and the light burst on And in that short bright instant before she dropped the covers she saw her sister for the last ti had happened to her face The skin around her eyes was coloured a pale powdery blue, her lips a swollen cherry red Eleanor listened to her sister's heavy breathing as she stood in the doorway, and the slow pound of herup the stairs

A few nights earlier, she'd heard another argu up just in time to hear her father use a voice she'd never heard before nor would ever hear again, a voice which had see froo on, he'd yelled Away you go now son, away you go! And see if I ever catch sight of your face again I will batter it for you, you hear me?

She heard herup behind, and she heard everything happening at once, everyone talking over each other and stu into the furniture, the sound of smacks and slaps and yelps and whispers She closed her eyes tightly and lay perfectly still, hoping that if they thought she was asleep they would none of them talk t

o her, or say it was her fault, or ask her questions about it in the

She heard her father saying now Ivy, let's just calm down a little

She heard her one too far now

She heard her father saying Ivy, Ivy She heard herquietly and cals and leave, that she was no longer a daughter of the faain be welco, and the sound of drawers being opened and closed, and footsteps up and down the stairs, and peoplein the kitchen

And when she next opened her eyes it was , and the room was still and quiet and bare The sheets had been stripped from her sister's bed, and the suitcase froone Herdressed, and without saying anything or even looking at her, she cleared the rest of Tessa's things into a black bag and put it outside by the bins

I barely heard her naain, she told David And if I did it wasback here again, or, she'll see what she gets if she shows her face around here Things like that, she said, you know