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“I looked everywhere for Malcol his na at the kids like a lunatic ThisWhen I told her that , she looked around and then she shook my shoulders She asked me when I’d seen him last and I told her…I told her that I’d fallen asleep and then I couldn’t speak anyet She knew I had let it happen”

I thought that I was all cried out, but hot tears burned my itchy, blotchy skin

“I screamed in her face I yelled, ‘It’s not my fault,’ but it was And then when I found his inhaler inbad had happened It was too hot He needed his inhaler By this ti with cops I don’t knoho called the me questions, and every time they did, I saw that woman’s face I saw her accusation”

My voice broke

“I saw the truth”

“Oh God, Monroe You don’t have to do this,” Nate breathed into me, his nose near mine, his dark eyes shiny

But I did

“They found hih the park I think he was trying to get back to me because he was in trouble, but I was asleep and totally unaware I bet he yelled for me He had to have, and so, ‘Roe, where are you? Coet me!’

“He was already gone when they found him, and by then my mother had made it to the park” I shook violently at the e of her pounding her fists into the police officer’s chest Her nails were scarlet Blood red and pointy

Funny the details you remember

“The coroner told my parents later that he died because of a severe asth about his inhaler ‘Where was his inhaler?’ she kept asking, saying it over and over I could never answer, but I think that she knows I’ve never told her or my dad that I had his inhaler That I still have his inhaler I never told them that…”

I clung to Nathan, trying to block out the sounds of Malcolht I could barely breathe, but eventually it fell away and I was nothing but a li of bones and flesh

“Jesus, Monroe I’m so, so sorry”

I was hollow Spent

“Yeah,” I answered slowly “Me too”