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“Oh, do you know her?”

“I feel like I do Model Behavior was so addictive My friends caave ourselves ht from the start We even had the pink T-shirts”

I don’t have to work hard to iine Sheree and her squad Model Behavior was a reality TV show Beautiful boys and girls locked in a coers Girls in bikinis fought endlessly over one s prat named Jordan It Was Dreck Have I been ruined by BBC period dramas, Shakespeare, and West End shows? Yes

“Yes, it was really good” I have no conviction in my voice and I definitely don’t fool Sheree She looks at me with narrowed eyes She smells snob

“Claudia won the entire competition She’s incredible If I were you, I’d be so proud” With a sniff, she begins typing again, and I can see that her hands are shaking a little with new nerves Her eyes begin flicking toward the door, over and over She finally gives up on work and begins to check her appearance

I drag e potted plant and set up ca,I’m dead to Sheree now, so she won’t care if I unbraid htmare There are probably hikers lost in there But I can’t cut it short, because without the weight it grows outward into a ball forifted e hair

I create three ropes and begin rebraiding Pip was one of my London flatmates and she onc

e told me my hair looked like a braided peach strudel She was very drunk at the time and meant it as a co to bite into it “Delishusss,” she said over and over until we flagged down an adorable black cab home

I study it critically now as it lays vertically down ranules and sorowls loudly Sheree coughs and I jerk inatabout taking out a knife and cutting off a snack portion of her own braid That’s the great thing about brains It’s all a secret

I recheck that Claudia’s present hasn’t gotten squashed, even though I knoas fine the last tiift wrap That’s her signature color, like Barbie Glittery gold wrap; as I thinking? A whirring sensation begins in the pit of my stomach and I have to tell myself forcefully, don’t be nervous She’s not a kid anyift-wrap choice Probably not

Please don’t be nervous Please don’t be nervous I say it to ins to obey

For me to describe Claudia, I first have to adht? I know on an intellectual level that it wasn’t me who created this outcome I don’t have special powers I wasn’t an o as soon to co his dead wife’s favorite records I was just a kid and I didn’t knohat I was asking for

But I wished so hard That’s what always getson a kitchen chair when I askedspecial My request strea up heaven, and that night I rode my bike under a sunset that was every shade of pink One nod from Mom and the plan was in motion That’s why my heart still believes I made it happen

And like all big wishes, I paid a price

To avoid following that particular train of thought, I start to think about lass door to Centurion Security pushes open and a young woant backward-pachyderh red-velvet curtains onto a stage A spotlight wobbles and then encircles her in full focus She carries glossy cardboard shopping bags, strung around each wrist like bunches of rectangle helium balloons that strain heavily below her waist

The bags have expensive logos: Chanel, Prada, Fendi, Tiffany & Co The audience knows this is a girl of generousand Old-Hollyhite-blonde She lifts her face to the light and her audience thinks, holy shit Ineloquent, but we’re all in the same boat there

Here she is, Claudia Carson, my own personal wish cole room