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I wanted him, too

I wanted to spend ti with him that I didn’t want to do and very enthusiastically

If this whole business with the letters hadn’t happened, I’d be determined to see him once I returned to Manhattan Of that I had no doubt Re hi to see him anytime and anywhere

But he did leave the letters He did leave with only a cryptic note warning me to stay away He said he was bad news

What the hell did that mean?

The rest of the evening wentwith my request to not talk about Beckett Instead, Steve told us about his first week at Columbia and how different it was to be in Manhattan rather than Wil which train to take and where to transfer

When I was off shift, the three of us left together and took our own trains hoo with Leah, since they were both in student residence at Columbia and so I went on my own back to my place at The New Yorker

When I got into bed, I lay awake for a long ti about my life now that I was back in Manhattan Part of me was happy to be back – the part of ood to be finishing my Masters and I looked forward to lad Leah and I were still friends and had got together several ti busy schedules

But I felt this gnawing eut A pervasive sadness about Beckett Everything see with hi

Sex was really great with Beckett

My body and heart ached, and both felt so empty and in need of the feel of his skin beneathinto mine

I turned over and wiped the tears out ofso I could sleep and forget about Beckett I had to contact hi about him One or the other

This indecisiveness was hell

Later that week, Ia beer at a local pub I frohen she told me she and Brandon had seen each other for dinner and then went back to his place

For hot sex, of course