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“So, what’s the plan for today?” Betty said

She plopped into an old armchair that seemed perfectly moulded to fit her form

“Paint Decorate Buy better underwear”

“There’s nothing wrong with my underwear, son”

“Maybe not on you, but women ant to have sex may have a problem with it”

“Cheeky wee fart, I’ll have you know that there’s nothing wrong with my sex life Why, just the other day”

Lake held up a hand

“You tellabout your sex life, I mean even one word, and I’ll bury your body where no one will find it”

Betty grulad he couldn’t make out any of the words

“One n”

Betty struggled to sit up straighter It looked like the chair was trying to s her whole

“You can’t change the sign It’s in the contract My nephew is a lawyer in Edinburgh He says there are no holes in it It’s tin”

“You mean ironclad”

Lake kept his face blank He wanted to grin widely, but orried Betty would perceive that as some form of affirmation In all honesty, he was a little ireat leader of a terrorist cell Or a dictator of a small country

“Who cares what ers at hih anyway? We ripped out half the shop’s fixtures last night What are we going to do for furniture? What e hang all this new underwear on? Have you thought about that, genius?”