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I stared at the floor and took several deep breaths, willing myself to calm down

I didn’t knohat it was about her So in her eyes, in the way sheabout her made me lose myself For a little while, whenever she was around, I could forget what I was—broken, rent asunder, scarred and inhu else

Almost a man, instead of a beast

But I was too ain uide me back from the depths

There were too many bodies at the foundation of my life

And before Penny was mine, there would be more

5

Penny

Present Day

Rome, Italy

In the ot sick I curled up on the bathroo with a cold sweat, and stared at the toilet like I ht die

Nothing hurt My stomach was fine I didn’t have a fever But every time I closed my eyes, I remembered Kaspar’s hands covered in blood, his ser like theoutirls that said I was so lucky, so lucky to have a guy like Kaspar so obviously in love with me

God, I was lucky So lucky, especially when he broke into ht over and over until I answered, only to do it again the next day I was lucky he stalked me, obsessed over me, and wouldn’t leave me alone

I tried not to think about Alice She was gone and didn’t matter anymore Her face was blurry now, like a picture left out in the sun for a week, but I could still hear her voice and smell her side of the roooing and I loved rooht up until the end

Kaspar came eventually I kneould He looked atThere was no pity in his eyes

“Get up We have another ”

“No, I can’t”

“You’re not sick Get up”

I groaned and tried to push hiled weakly as he pulled off my tank top and yanked down lass door

I stood there in my panties and no bra,at me

“Shower,” he commanded