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“Doesn’t feel like it, does it? I keep asking myself what the hell happened”

“We lost Holden”

Alex shook his head, tapped four fingertips on the table “Yeah, and that’s hard, but so happened before that We’ve faced all kinds of bad before now, and it never split up the family It was always everyone else, never us Now Naomi’s off in her roo for long walks We used to be a cre it’sabout everyone” She heard the accusation in his voice, and she wanted to push back at hi Had been wrong

In the hallway, Saba’s voice A woman replied It was all too quiet to hed about soh to ache

“Holden’s not just Holden,” she said, knowing it was an evasion but saying it anyway “He’s the face of the Rocinante He’s been on newsfeeds since before I joined up He’s the specialoff, and we lost one person in the operation That’s a win If it had been you or , but it was Holden Now it feels like we lost our good-luck charm”

“Feels like that to the to the others with his thumb “But we lost hi was sad And then he didn’t go away, and that eird”

“Yeah The whole Captain Draper thing ht have worked if he’d actually been out of the picture—”

Alex leaned forward, talking over her

“But we know better Whatever’s going on with Amos and you, it didn’t start when Holden left Or when he caate fro sideways And now Nao’s still on fire”

“She’s not helping with the decrypt?”

Alex shook his head once, sharply

“She can’t pull back,” Bobbie said “She’s the best tech on the station Saba’s people are fine, but she’s better She can’t just stop working because …”

Because her lover’s dead Or worse Bobbie felt the hurt and the guilt again

“We need her,” Alex agreed “I’ll have a talk with her if you want Unless you want to be the one who kicks her butt?”

“I really don’t”