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“We both know Alex’s going to die in that pilot’s chair Bobbie’s at horeat And I don’t know, but if she decides to try a skilled-nursing facility on Ceres or soo with her”

Holden let that idea sink in He didn’t understand the bond between Amos and Clarissa except that it was fierce and platonic and had lasted through years If it was love, it didn’t look like any version he’d ever experienced, but it didn’t look like anything else either He ran his mind over the idea of Amos still on the Rocinante without Clarissa He’d never considered it before It was a melancholy prospect

“Yeah, maybe,” Holden said Then, a

moment later, “Yeah”

“We’re getting up to the sae Fred hen he stroked out on a burn And you’ve been on daily anticancer meds for ood they are, that’s going to take a toll on your syste we can do? Sell our shares Head down to Titan, pick a resort, and enjoy our retirement”

No, Holden thought No, I will never leave this place and these people This is hts are, I will stand this ground This is where I belong Where we all belong

Only what ca out of his mouth was “God, that sounds wonderful Let’s do that”

Naoot a half dozen other argu on for why it’s not a terrible idea”

“Oh yeah, hold on to those,” Holden said “I’ht now, living in a dole best idea anyone has ever had”

“You wouldn’t feel like it made you less of a man?”

“Nope”

“That you were letting the universe down by not taking on every fight there was? Because I worked on that one for a while I’ve got soood lines practiced up”

“Keep ’eht now, I’m sold”

Her face relaxed He could still see the woe, sorrow and laughter had taken some of the curve out of her cheek, left her skin a little looser at her neck They weren’t young anymore Maybe you could only really see that sorown into themselves He moved to kiss her—

—and drifted off the crash couch