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The others, even Alberto, didn’t really understand what it meant to be research I do believe that’s true On Thoth Station, ere treated as different—as dangerous—which ere But their sense of our h to become e became didn’t blind us to humanity Our emotional lives didn’t stop All of us in research suffered the same loves and hopes and jealousies that administration and maintenance and security did If someone felt flattered or excluded or tired,it just as anyone else ht The difference, and I think it was the only difference, ca anymore
The confusion rose froht of research as a collection of borderline autistics, and while there were several who did participate on that spectru—they were not created They brought their diagnoses to the table with theeonhole, sociopathy, was nearer the truth, though I believe there were still some differences
I re about people My mother Samuel, a boy two yearsdeeply about whether they ell, whether they suffered, what they thought ofmyself by the opinions of people around ined that I appeared to others That is what being a social animal is, after all Emotional and definitional interdependence I re, but not the melody itself
Quintana broke my nose
It was s in the room, and Brown, his precious hand teruards again Alberto and I walked,a slow circuit of the roo my body in motion I had just reached the corner farthest fronity of his expression surprised e or sorrow or confusion Alberto recognized so in Quintana’s demeanor before I did He shouted and tried to pushhis body froe ofstepped on: sharp and deep at the same time
I rolled to uarded my abused face but didn’t touch it Contact made the pain worse Blood ran downvoices careat distance that turned out to be about four ’shim back and away from me Half a dozen other prisoners ran toward us, to help keep the peace or to watch it being broken Quintana’s voice buzzed with rage so badly I couldn’t understand what he was callinguards leaning on the s above us seehtly less bored than usual One, a woman with short red hair and a tattoo across her chin, sed I stood, but the throbbing pain brought ain
Quintana turned away, followed by Fong herself to make certain he wouldn’t circle back The others watched theo, then Alberto came to my side
“I told you ould come out of it”
“You’re so very s from a child’s cartoon
He took uided thee,” he said And then, “Oh, darling You poor thing”
They stuffed my nose with two tampons donated by wouards never made an appearance The politics of the enorh, and the Belters took no side Still, when Brown and his escort did co but the violence he’d missed
The guards didn’t allow us aveto a reflection, and froh Albert ripped the sleeve fro blood grew sticky, adheringatAlberto’s race as I could , watched theht fro behind hiet I waited, still and patient, afraid that any movement on my part would scare hi to hi’s security people and Mellin froed With Quintana as the villain, I shifted to being the victim And as the victim, approachable
“Fong told me what happened You look like shit,” Brown said, establishing dominance before he had to admit weakness
“I bla it a joke “No, actually, I blame Quintana”
Alberto, approaching with a freshly daled off to sit by himself Broered himself to sit beside me “He’s always been an asshole”