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“No This is et that I was dealt a shitty hand, but I’uess I expect to stay alive So yeah, I have an expectation I sure didn’t have that during the time on the island”

“That’s good,” Macy says

Yup Now she knows I’m not suicidal One hurdle jumped

“Anything else?” Macy asks

“I’ll find work Make my oay Take life one day at a time”

“Not a bad outlook at all Lily?”

“I expect to be happy,” she says “And I will Someday”

“That’s a great expectation,” Macy says, “and I have a piece of advice for both of you concerning happiness”

Again, I resist an eye roll What can she possibly have to say to us about happiness after all we’ve been through?

“Think about this,” Macy says, “because it’s the truth You don’t have to wait until life is no longer difficult to be happy”

I aze, as her words play in my mind

It’s the truth, she said

I like the idea

I like it a lot

Life may always be difficult Indeed, it probably will be I’ve been dealt shitty cards

Can I?

Can I be happy while I’? While life is still hard?

Luke’s ie pops into my mind Luke, with his dark hair and hypnotic eyes His firainst my own

His red and black tattoo that probably goes all the way up his left arm

I don’t need a man to be happy In fact, I’d probably be happier without amy past

But I felt good with him I felt safe with him

Happy is a stretch But good is a start

I regard Macy Sure, she’s a Pollyanna with a doctorate who has probably led a sugar-and-spice life

But her words…

You don’t have to wait until life is no longer difficult to be happy

And I know I’ll be cos twice a week

12

Luke

The scar on my shoulder is a constant reminder of what I was

What I no longer will allow myself to be

I was fucked up Majorly I could bla My parents My circumstances

But in truth?

The only person to blame is myself Once I became an adult, Icircumstances that factored into those choices, but in the end, I made the decisions I acted on them