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I pick up , I wouldn’t ordinarily answer, but the diversion seems timely

Wherever you are, you’d better be having a good fucking time, reads my text from Matteo, which is quickly followed by a second

Because someone (and my money is on your idiot of a brother) has hired a stripper to wish uess who isn’t here

I begin to chuckle, covering it with a cough While I’ht actually like to be a fly on the wall just to watch how that went down Like a one-leggedcontest, I shouldn’t wonder

And not just any old stripper, oh no

But a scantily-clad octogenarian, comes his next text

Gyrating Around the table

In a Michelin star restaurant, for fuck’s sake!

That is soine Griffin will be so pissed I wasn’t there, but it serves hi Matteo’s text, I switch my phone to silent and slide it away

“I hope that wasn’t your wife, Lyle” Nikki purrs“I don’t like competition”

“Lyle doesn’t have a wife” Holland stares across atshake of in to wonder if trouble ht be her middle name No, because it would have to be proceeded by causer of “He’s not that way inclined,” she adds happily, ignoring my silent threats of bodily harm

I think I’ to put her across my knee at the earliest opportunity

“You mean he’s?” The wo across a pond

“It’s just like Olive to spill allwith Holland that it would be convenient for Cousin Lyle to be gay “I’ tree” I pat her hand once again, this time with a look of sympathy “You lack a couple of the essentials” I’ Holland, at least

“Why are all the good one’s gay!” the woman almost wails

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true Is it, Olive?” My reply is heavy with sarcasm Or my unspoken plans for retribution

“No, because Lyle hits on straight guys all the time,” Olive, I mean, Holland, offers, unconcerned “Of course, they’re also usually married”