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“For h that made a mockery of the joy normally associated with the sound

This wasn’t Lucas, not her Lucas anyway This was her fault The attitude, the underlying anger If she hadn’t fallen so hard for him, she would have been able to keep her distance, but even now staying away from him seemed almost impossible She had to make him understand

“I couldn’t let you make any more sacrifices for me” She reached out for him, but he brushed off her touch “I knew you’d pay a price for disobeying your orders if I stayed around No hter and you’re the head of the Silver Knights I’d ruin everything for you I wanted to protect you from that”

“So lettingup at Rolf Macintosh’s knee would fuck a person up, but this is so far beyond that”

She flinched His words hit as hard as a slap “I couldn’t let you know If you had, you would have tried to stop me”

The breeze ruffled her now black hair, tugging it from the ponytail she’d pulled it into and she held her breath The last thing she could take was the scent of lavender—so she’d always associate with Lucas for the rest of her life—as he looked at her as if she was the worst hu on earth She’d known it would happen He’d realize just how bad she was for hiht she’d be there to see it The reality of it was soto life

“You know, the first ti that if I didn’t I’d end up like all the other poor saps you’d uess I’m lucky that you’re the one who ended up dead instead of me”

And this was how it ended She’d coet one last look at the man she loved, share one final moment, even if she was the only one who’d realized as happening Instead, she’d proven everything about why she and Lucas could never be together

She took a step backward, unable to look away from him “I shouldn’t have come”

“No you shouldn’t have” Cruel Harsh Deserved “You can’t be dead if you’re in arden”

Her feet faltered at the pain in his voice, but the knowledge of why she was doing this steadied her when all she wanted to do was throw herself at him “I think it’s best if we act as if I am”

“Agreed” He nodded, his face as hard as granite “Because you are dead to me”

Letting the Sparrow have another go at carving up her palernails pulled out with saltwater-soaked pliers would have done less dae But this is what it hat it had to be

Without another word, she turned and walked away, leaving Lucas staring in his lavender garden, free to be the Silver Knight he was destined to be She gritted her teeth and forced her feet forward She’d follow the saet here Another pair of painful steps A boat aiting for her there She pushed passed the agony twisting her insides The captain would take her to Scotland and from there, she’d board another ship to Aate latch And then—

Lucas’s pal anywhere, not without me”