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“Time of death, 8:43 PM,” he whispered

Toby collapsed at the side of her bed, sobbing on top of her body

My chest felt like it was on fire I felt like I had stripped this h, I had cost hi the roo—I couldn’t tell whatpassed in a blur until I foundrain

I failed God Why I did I fail? “Ahh!” I screamed up into the rain

“Eli!” Guinevere ran closer to me, her hand overhead, as if that would stop the downpour “Eli, what is it? What’s wrong?”

For some reason, I tried to s You should go home alone today—”

“Eli, talk to me”

“I don’t want to talk! I’ All I do is talk all dah my hair “Please don’t wait or look for me”

Walking back into the hospital, I tried to ignore how bad my head and chest hurt

Chapter Nineteen

The Oath We Make

Guinevere

“How long will he be like this?” I asked Dr Seo, watching as Eli stitched up an old woman’s arm in the ER For the last 96 hours, I wasn’t even sure if had really eaten anything He was basically living at the hospital and, froht to bring a razor

Dr Seo bit into his apple, leaning against the wall His pink hair was now back to black and in a half ponytail “It depends If you haven’t noticed, Eli doesn’t handle death well He thinks just because he’s a doctor, he can save everyone if he’s just a little better When he and I were interns, we lost an older man He came in with his son after they had been in a car accident His son appearedthe boy's father was bleeding internally It wasn’t his fault; his son really was hurt After the man died, Eli barely ate or even left the hospital for a month He only slept because his mother threatened and swore she would bar him from the hospital So he made a makeshift bed in the on-call room No one else dared sleep in it, either”

“What can I do for hihost…worse than he had after Hannah