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Finally he let go, then wiped his eyes “How did you know about the baby she was going to have?”

“I heard a few nurses whispering about it It’s all right—”

“It’s more than that Thank you Thank you so much” He took my hands and turned back to look into her roo sobut sit here and watch She collapsed thisthey can’t operate I should go, right? I should try for other opinions, right?”

I wished it was a rhetorical question, but he was really asking for an answer “Toby, I’m not a doctor, I don’t know”

“But if it was your child—”

I sighed “I’m so sorry, Toby, I wish I could help you I really don’t knohat to say I can’t answer that because I don’t have children I can’t understand the position or pain you are in All I can do is tell you to trust yourself Do what you think is right for Molly That’s all you can do, isn’t it?”

He was silent, and it was al

“Go in, she's calling for you” I waved back to the sirl inside

“Thank you again,” he whispered, his hand on the door

“Of course”

I stayed there for a little while longer before walking back to my station If I felt this bad, I wondered how Eli felt I couldn’t i that much pressure on his shoulders, and that was just one of his patients How did he do it? How did he deal with it all? When he was home, it was like the hospital hi He would always just say 'saved one'…but what about the people he couldn’t save?

Does he not tell me because he doesn’t think I can understand? I knew he couldn’t break doctor-patient confidentiality, and I didn’t want hi

“Gwen!” Logan came up to me, dressed in dark jeans and a pretty nice leather jacket

I had noticed that after he had declared he wasn’t going to be a doctor, his fashion was changing slightly I guessed he was just finally being who he really was He’d even gotten his ear pierced

“Hey, aren’t you going on tour?” I asked when he reached me