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Norah

In the hazy space between sleep and waking, I alet that my dad is dead because of er’s bed But asback, and I can’t stem the tears that follow

How did this mess become my life? Why did I let an utterly despicable asshole like Brody take control of h they weren’t always around My mom’s a pretty scattered person, and

Materially speaking, I had everything a girl could ever want But knowingtheir love Brody sahat I wasand worked hard to fill in the cracks He weaseled his way into my mind and heart, until I was convinced that he was the only one I needed And the only escape I got from Brody’s control were the weeks I spent here at the cabin with my family

I ai back: playing cards on the porch withthe laundry, all the afternoons I spent hunting and fishing with ated to only a feeeks every summer, I wouldn’t have fallen prey to Brody’s manipulation I wouldn’t have let him mold et what they want

Because that’s who I really airl act forI touch What happened to my dad was my fault I can lie to my mom, to the police, to the whole da to myself

Thankfully, lying to Silas cah Brody always said the best lie is one that includes a version of the truth When Silas threatened to kick me

out, I knew I had to tell hih for hio home

My stouilt eating away at me, until I remember I never actually bothered to eat dinner I dry ns that Silas is up and walking around Hearing nothing, I tiptoe to the kitchen for a towel and then scurry back to the bathroom to shower I put on a fresh pair of panties and a black tank, plus my shorts from yesterday

I’m about to leave the bedrooh e, but don’t bother powering it on I don't need to deal with the barrage of threatening texts that are undoubtedly waiting for me

In the kitchen, ISilas is still asleep in the loft As I’ away the bread, I hear hi out in case he wants breakfast I also put the kettle on My s in the cupboard Instant coffee, too My grand two people couldn’t come to terms with over a cuppa

I pray she’s right, as I pretend not to watch the hottesthis way down the stairs

“Morning,” he says I do a double take before I realize why the jeans and T-shirt he’s wearing look fa my dad’s clothes “Hope you don’t mind, I raided the drawers I didn’t exactly pack for this trip”

“It’s fine” I s the lump of sadness and try to smile “I put on water for tea or coffee, and there’s bread for toast”

He nods I let him find the instant coffee on his own so I can check hi are about an inch and a half too short for his his body like spandex I kneas a big guy, but now that he’s testing the seams of my dad’s old clothes, I have a clearer idea of just how jacked he is I wonder what he does for a living, if he works out a lot or if he gets hisup boulders with his bare hands