Page 18 (1/2)

BOOK IV: UNDER THE FLAGSTAFF

RUPERT'S JOURNAL--_Continued_

_May_ 1, 1907

For some days after the last adventure I was in truth in a half-dazedcondition, unable to think sensibly, hardly coherentlyIndeed, it wasasof my habitual appearance andmannerHowever, h it I reacquired sufficient self-confidence to go through with inal phase of stupefaction passed, and I wasable to look the situation in the faceI knew the worst now, at anyrate; and when the lowest point has been reached thingsanything which htaffect an todread Aunt Janet's Second-Sight visions or drea so near to fact that they always er ofdiscoveryI had to realize now that the Lady of the Shroud ht indeedbe a Vampire--one of that horrid race that survives death and carries ona life-in-death existence eternally and only for evilIndeed, I beganto _expect_ that Aunt Janet would ere long have soht tothe matterShe had been so wonderfully correct in her propheticsurard to both the visits to my roonizance of this last development

But my dread was not justified; at any rate, I had no reason to suspectthat by any force or exercise of her occult gift she ht cause meconcern by the discovery of er in that respect was close toand rapped at my doorWhen I called out, "Who is that?What isit?" she said in an agitated way:

"Thank God, laddie, you are all right!Go to sleep again"

Later on, e htht she had seen reat church close beside a stone coffin; and, knowing thatsuch was an ominous subject to dreahtHer mind was evidently set on death and burial,for she went on:

"By the way, Rupert, I areat church on tireat people of thecountry used to be buriedI want you to take o over it, and look at the toetherI reallythink I should be afraid to go alone, but it will be all right if you arewith erous, so I turned it aside:

"Really, Aunt Janet, I'o off to weird oldchurches, and fill yourself up with a fresh supply of horrors, I don'tknoill happenYou'll be dreaht and neither you nor I shall get any sleep"It went to my heart tooppose her in any wish; and also this kind of chaffy opposition htpain herBut I had no alternative; the matter was too serious to beallowed to proceedShould Aunt Janet go to the church, she would surelywant to visit the cryptShould she do so, and there notice theglass-covered to--the Lord only kneould happenShe had already Second-Sighted a wo married toht she notreveal did she knohere the woht had to rest on soe or belief,and that her vision was but sohtBut whatever it was it should be stopped--at allhazards

This whole episode set raduallybut imperatively to self-analysis--not of powers, but ofht at first that this intellectual process was anexercise of pure reason; but soon discarded this as inadequate--eveni which swayedand dominated me is none other than passion, which is quick, hot, andinsistent

As for myself, the self-analysis could lead to but one result--theexpression to myself of the reality and definiteness of an already-forood--to serveher in some way--to secure her soht be within my powerI knew that I lovedher--loved her most truly and fervently; there was no need forself-analysis to tell me thatAnd, moreover, no self-analysis, or anyother mental process that I knew of, could help my one doubt: whether shewas an ordinary woman (or an extraordinary woman, for the matter of that)in some sore and terrible straits; or else one who lay under somedreadful condition, only partially alive, and not ht be, there was in a superfluity of affection for herThe self-analysis taught , at any rate--that I had for her, to start with, an infinite pitywhich had softened towards her , and had already an to find excuses for her everyactIn the doing so I kne, though perhaps I did not at the ti on, thatwoman--the woman I loved

In the forh the analogy withof ahouse, for instance, there are many persons employed; men of differenttrades and occupations--architect, builder, masons, carpenters, plumbers,and a host of others--and all these with the officials of each guild ortradeSo in the world of thought and feelings: knowledge andunderstanding coents, each competent to its task

How far pity reacted with love I knew not; I only knew that whatever herstateor dead, I could find in my heart noblame for the Lady of the ShroudIt could not be that she was dead inthe real conventional way; for, after all, the Dead do not walk the earthin corporal substance, even if there be spirits which take the corporalforhtHow could I doubt that,at all events--I, who had held her in ht it not be that shewas not quite dead, and that it had been given to ain?Ah! that would be, indeed, a privilege orth the giving may be is possibleSurely theold myths were not absolute inventions; they must have had a basissomewhere in factMay not the world-old story of Orpheus and Eurydicehave been based on so principle or power of human nature?There is not one of us but has wished at so back thedeadAy, and who has not felt that in himself or herself was power inthe deep love for our dead to ain, did we but know thesecret of hoas to be done?

For myself, I have seen such s not yet explainedThese have been, of course, aht unchecked traditionsand beliefs--ay, and powers too--down the ages fro; when forces were elemental, and Nature's handiasexperimental rather than completedSome of these wonders may have beenolder still than the accepted period of our own period of creationMaywe not have to-day other wonders, different only in method, but not moresusceptible of belief?Obi-ism and Fantee-ism have been exercised in myown presence, and their results proved by the evidence of er rites, with the same object and thesame success, in the far Pacific IslandsSo, too, in India and China,in Thibet and in the Golden ChersoneseOn all and each of theseoccasions there was, on h belief to set in ; and there were no moral scruples to stand in theway of realizationThose whose lives are so spent that they achieve thereputation of not fearingor thwarted froht deter othersnot so equipped for adventureWhatever may be before them--pleasant orpainful, bitter or sweet, arduous or facile, enjoyable or terrible,hu theoo

d athlete takes hurdles in his strideAnd there backIf the explorer or theadventurer has scruples, he had better give up that special branch ofeffort and come hiretsThere is no need for such; savage life has this advantage:it begets a certain toleration not to be found in conventional existence