Page 14 (1/2)
"No, no!Rather would I be"--here she hesitated for an instant, but asshe caught sight of her cerements went on hurriedly--"as I amI trustyou--not others; and you must not betray htful fit of shivering, drawing again her death-clothesclose to her, so piteously that it wrung my heartI suppose I am apractical manAt any rate, I am accustomed to actionI took froown of dark brown--it was,of course, of extra length--and held it out to her as I said:
"Put that onIt is the only war here which would be suitableStay; you must remove that et"--I stumbled about for a word thatwould not be offensive--"that frock--dress--costume--whatever it is"Ipointed to where, in the corner of the roo-screen which fences in ht, as I am an early riser
She bowed gravely, and taking the dressing-gown in a long, white,finely-shaped hand, bore it behind the screenThere was a slightrustle, and then a hollow "flop" as the wet gar, and aJaeger garh she was a tall wopainfully, howeverI took a flask of brandy and a glass from acupboard, and offered her soh she rievously
"Oh, I aI was pained ather sad condition, and said despairingly, for I was at my wits' end toknohat to do:
"Tellthat I can do to help you, and I will do itIto make it with; you will not takesoive you warmth?"
Her answer certainly surprised h--so practical that I should not have dared to say itShe lookedThen, with anair of girlish innocence which disarmed suspicion and convinced me atonce of her simple faith, she said in a voice that at once thrilled meand evoked all my pity:
"Let iveof coldAnd I have a deadly fear upon me--a deadlyfearSit by , andyou look braveIt will reassure ot me by the throatI can hardly breatheDo let one through, and haveto go through still, I am sure you would pity me and help me"
To say that I was astonished would be a sI was not shockedThe life which I have led was not one which e peoples withstrange views of their own is to have odd experiences and peculiaradventures now and again; a man without human passions is not the typenecessary for an adventurous life, such as I myself have hadBut even aman of passions and experiences can, when he respects a woman, beshocked--even prudish--where his own opinion of her is concernedSuchenerosity which he has, and anyself-restraint alsoEven should she place herself in a doubtfulposition, her honour calls to his honourThis is a call which may notbe--_must_ not be--unansweredEven passion must pause for at least awhile at sound of such a trumpet-call
This woman I did respect--norance of evil; her superb disdain of convention, which couldonly co--for there must be more in her unhappy condition than meets theeye--would all demand respect, even if one did not hasten to yield itNevertheless, I thought it necessary to enter a protest against hereestionI certainly did feel a fool whenit,also a cadI can truly say it was ood, and out ofthe best of me, such as I amI felt impossibly aard; and stutteredand stumbled before I spoke:
"But surely--the convenances!Your being here alone at night!MrsGrundy--convention--the--"
She interrupted nity which had theeffect of shuttingme feel a decidedinferior--and a poor show at thatThere was such a gracious sie of herself and herposition, that I could be neither angry nor hurtI could only feelashamed of myself, and of my own littleness of mind and moralsSheseemed in her icy coldness--now spiritual as well as bodily--like anincarnate figure of Pride as she answered:
"What are convenances or conventions to me!If you only knehere Ihave come from--the existence (if it can be called so) which I havehad--the loneliness--the horror!And besides, it is for me to _make_conventions, not to yield my personal freedoarb--I am above conventionConvenances donot trouble one through, even if it had never coh any other wayLetme stay"She said the last words, in spite of all her pride,appealinglyBut still, there was a note of high pride in all this--inall she said and did, in her attitude and movement, in the tones of hervoice, in the loftiness of her carriage and the steadfast look of heropen, starlit eyesAltogether, there was so so rarely lofty inherself and all that clad her that, face to face with it and with her, myfeeble attempt at moral precaution seemed puny, ridiculous, and out ofplaceWithout a word i
n the doing, I took from an old chiffonier chestan armful of blankets, several of which I threw over her as she lay, forin thereplaced the coverlet, she had lain down atlength on the bedI took a chair, and sat down beside herWhen shestretched out her hand fro:
"Get waruardyou with my life"
She looked at ht more fullof illumination than was afforded by the wax candle, which was shadedfrom her by my bodyShe was horribly cold, and her teeth chatteredso violently that I feared lest she should have incurred so and the cold that followed itI felt, however, soaard that I could find no words to express arding herself after the haughty wayin which she had received my well-e and provider of heat, altogether iree as an individualIn these hucircumstances what could I do but sit quiet--and wait developments?