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‘You’ll be fine, Grace Just remember, when Dad snorts, only hot air comes out, no flames’

‘That’s easy for you to say from a safe distance’

‘And in any case, you’ll have Mum on your side’

‘Two against one will ht have tipped the balance in my favour’

‘I’ll be there in spirit,’ said William, before he wished her luck and put the phone down He was just about to leave the roo skyline displayed on the mantelpiece The policeman in him wanted to look on the other side, but he resisted the te the washing up

‘Jez usually does the drying’

‘Subtle,’ said Williao home, put on a tracksuit and join you in the park’

‘No need You’ll find everything you want in Jez’s room’

‘I’ve alondered what a e à trois would be like’

A run in the park, followed by My Beautiful Laundrette, and then a Pizza Margherita – half each – before returning to Beth’s flat and disappearing under the blankets, to end an idyllic weekend

When Williale himself before he could check his watch

‘Help!’ he said as he leapt out of bed and charged into the bathroo he couldn’t afford to be late for It would start at nine, with or without him

Once he returned to the bedroom, he threw on his clothes and kissed a half-awake Beth

‘Hoping to escape before I woke, were you?’

‘I have to go back to ain’