Page 69 (1/2)

900 am

The new inductees report to the doctor for theirinto a routine as hospital orderly

12 noon

Call Mary to assure her that the courts have now located my papers, and to wish her luck with our Christ Denis and Margaret Thatcher’s fiftieth wedding anniversary at the East India Club earlier in the evening She promises to call me and let me kno they both went No, I remind her, I can only call you

408 pm

An announcement over the tannoy instructs eant Major Daff that I have been sent two Christmas cakes — one from Mrs Gerald Scarfe, better known as Jane Asher, with a card, from which I reproduce only the final sentence:

I’ you a cake for Christmas with a hacksaw and file inside

See you soon, love Jane

– and one froroup in Middleton As no prisoner is allowed to receive any foodstuffs in case they contain alcohol or drugs, Mr Daff agrees that one can go to the local retirement home, and the other to the special needs children So it’s all right for the children to be stoned out of their ed up to the eyeballs, but not me

‘It’s Houlations,’ explains Mr Daff

500 pm

I spot Peter (lifer, arson) co up the drive He looks in a bit of a daze, so I invite him to join me in the hospital for coffee and biscuits We chat for nearly an hour

The biggest shock for Peter on leaving prison for the first tiers’ (old people) that were on the streets of Boston doing their Christ In 1969, the life expectancy for a ht years and for a wohty-one respectively Peter also consideredwomen dressed ‘very tarty’, but he did ad at thehteen stone, was surprised that he no longer stands out in a crowd, as he would have done thirty-one years ago When he visited Safeways supermarket, it was the first time he’d seen a trolley; in the past he had only been served at a counter and used a shopping basket And as for money, he knows of course about deci from a shop there were 240 pennies in a pound, half-crowns, ten shilling notes and the guinea was still of blessed memory

Peter was totally baffled by pelican crossings and was frightened to walk across one However the experience

heroom to try on clothes behind a curtain, while members of the public walked past hi back the curtain to see hoas getting on He was amazed that he could try on a shirt and then not have to purchase it