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12 noon

Lunch today is just as bad as Belmarsh or Wayland Matthew explains that Wendy is off I must remember to eat only when Wendy is on duty

200 pm

I report to the hospital and take over Doug’s caretaker role, while he visits his daughter I settle doith a glass of blackcurrant juice and Evian to watch England slaughter Ireland, and win the Grand Slam, the Triple Crown and … after all, we are far superior on paper Unfortunately, rugby is not played on paper but on pitches Ireland hammer us 20-14, and return to the Emerald Isles with smiles on their faces

I’ when a tall, handsome black man strolls in His name is Clive I only hope he’s not ill, because if he is, I’ the last third of his sentence, and has just returned froramme

Clive and I are the only two prisoners who have the privilege of visiting Doug in the evenings I quickly discover why Doug enjoys Clive’s co and, if it were not politically incorrect, I would describe hiive you just one example of hoorks the system

During the week Clive works as a linecoht and doesn’t return until seven in the evening For this, he is paid £200 a week So during the week, NSC is no more than a bed and breakfast, and the only day he has to spend in prison is Sunday But Clive has a solution for that as well

Two Sundays in every month he takes up his allocated town visits, while on the third Sunday he’s allowed an overnight stay

‘But what about the fourth or fifth Sunday?’ I ask

‘Religious exemption,’ he explains

‘But hen there’s a chapel in the grounds?’ I demand

‘Your chapel is in your grounds,’ says Clive, ‘because you’re C of E Not me,’ he adds ‘I’m a Jehovah’s Witness I must visit my place of worship at least one Sunday in every month, and the nearest one just happens to be in Leicester’

After a coffee, Clive invites ammon His room turns out not to be five paces by three, or even seven by three It’s a little over ten paces by ten In fact it’s larger than my bedroom in London or Grantchester

‘How did you e this?’ I ask, as we settle down on opposite sides of the board

‘Well, it used to be a storeroom,’ he explains, ‘until I rehabilitated it’