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‘Get a life, Jeff, I’ around with shotguns nowadays They’re all partners, not wives Like a company chaired up in here at the moment,’ he adds, ‘because if they called an AGM I wouldn’t want to have to explain why they won’t be getting a dividend this year’

It’s clear that none of the other prisoners listening to this conversation consider it at all unusual, let alone reprehensible Heaven knohat Britain will be like in fifty years’ time if everyone has three ‘wives’ but doesn’t bother to actually marry any of them

When I return toforof water, followed by two KitKats, before going off to have a shower

400 pm

Association My first assignhland Spring) before searching out Tony to hand over a Mars Bar, followed by Colin (twelve first-class staes me double bubble – I join the other prisoners seated around the television They’re watching the World Athletics Chas ress so far After the first day of the decathlon, Macey is leading by one point, and is preparing for his heat in the 110 metre hurdles, which is the first event of the second day I tell Mr Hughes that Edinally planned to spend my summer holiday

‘I see that there are a lot of ehes, ‘but I find it hard to believe that they’re all now in prison’

Just as Macey goes to his blocks, I spot Joseph standing in the corner – a man who prefers the centre of the room I leave the World Athletics Championships for a moment to join him

‘Any news of your son?’ I ask

‘No’ He looks surprised that I’ve found out about his problem ‘I’ve phoned his et in touch with the British Consul They’ve got hied up in a local jail What are prisons like in Cyprus?’ he asks

‘I’ve no idea,’ I tell him ‘Until they sent land Just be thankful it’s not Turkey What’s he been charged with?’

‘Nothing They found hi cannabis, but they’ve warned him he could end up with a seven-year sentence’

‘Not if he was asleep, surely,’ I suggest ‘How old is he?’

‘Eighteen, and whatabout it My wife says she’ll phone the Governor the ’

‘Good luck,’ I say, and return to the athletics

Mr Hughes tells me I missed Macey He came second in his heat, in a new personal best ‘You can’t ask for er Black, the BBC co to be an exciting day here in Edmonton’