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Many of the lifers have long-term projects, so a book, another taking a degree, a third is a dedicated Listener In fact, although I may have to spend most of today locked up in my cell, Fletch, Billy, Tony, Paul, Andy and Del Boy all have responsible jobs which allow them to roam around the block virtually unrestricted Thissentence, theytrouble, but once you’ve given the locked up all day is unquestionably a privilege – they’re unlikely to want to give up that freedom easily

803 am

I shave using a Bic razor supplied by HMP They give you a new razor every day, and it is a punishable offence to be found with two of the, just before lock-up, you trade in your old one for a new one

As soon as the cell door is opened, I et there beforeof toiletries I have ever seen It’s filled with several types of deodorant and aftershave lotions He is a tall, well-built, good-looking guy who rarely y, Dennis si time, Jeff, before you can build up such a collection on twelve-fifty a week’ Another of thees fro flipflops on et verrucas,’ he warns me ‘Make sure Mary sends you in a pair as quickly as possible’

Having repeatedly to push the button with the palm of one hand while you soap yourself with the other is a new skill I have nearlyyour hair, you suddenly need three hands I wish I were an octopus

When I’reen prison towels are all soaking – I should only have one, but thanks to Del Boy…I return to my cell, and because I’m so clean, I’m made painfully aware of the prison smell If you’ve ever travelled on a train for twenty hours and then slept in a station waiting rooht, you’re halfway there Once I’ve put back on yesterday’s clothes, I pour myself another bowl of cornflakes I think I can s before I’ll need to order another one I hear round floor, but decide to finish ns of rebellion?

When I do report, Mr Bentley tells me that there’s a parcel for me in reception This time no one escorts me on the journey, or bothers to searchfull of clothes sent in by Mary: two shirts, five T-shirts, seven pairs of pants, seven pairs of socks, two pairs of gym shorts, a tracksuit, and teaters The precise allocation that prison regulations permit Once back in my cell I discard my two-day-old pants and socks to put on a fresh set of clothes, and now not only feel clean, but almost human

I spend a considerable ti the rest of my clothes in the little cupboard aboveof a challenge Once I’ve completed the exercise, I sit on the end of the bed and wait to be called for church

1039 am

My na several others bellowed out by the officer at the front desk on the ground floor, followed by the single word ‘church’ All those wishing to attend the service report to the ate near the bubble Waiting in prison for your next activity is not unlike hanging around for the next bus Itin a few moments, or you may have to wait for half an hour Usually the latter

While I’ to warnthat I’ it’ over the other prisoners Apparently I roa TV, while all the other prisoners are locked up He says that although everyone on the spur knows it’s a joke, the rest of the block (three other spurs) do not Fletch advises ht want ‘toof it’

The more attentive readers will recall that my white shirt was taken away from me last week because I could be mistaken for an officer;to follow the progress of the King George and Queen Elizabeth Stakes; and by now all of you kno many hours I’ve been locked insurprises even me

The heavy, barred gate on the middle floor is eventually opened, and I join prisoners fro service Although everyone is searched, they now hardly bother with h a customs check at Heathrow There are two searchers on duty this , one male and one female officer I notice the queue to be searched by the woer than the one for theto your sentence for what you’re thinking’

When I enter the chapel I return to ation is almost 80 per cent black, despite the population of the prison being around fifty-fifty The service is conducted by a white officer froers are also all white When I next see Mr Powe, I must remember to tell hinificent black choirs and a else I learnt when I was candidate for Mayor

This week I notice that the congregation is roughly split in tith a sort of demarcation zone about halfway back The prisoners seated in the first eight rows have only one purpose – to follow every line in the Bible that the Chaplain refers to, to sing at the top of their voices and participate fully in the spirit of the service The back nine rows show scant interest in proceedings, and I observe that they have forroups of two, three or four, their heads bowed deep in conversation I assume they’re friends from different spurs and find the service one of the few opportunities to s – if they are willi