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Paul envied Ian for his openness The irony was that Ian was probably a better Christian than Paul He didn’t judge What judgments had Paul made about the clerk, Andy, based on his bleached white hair and feminine mannerisms?

After everything Ian had been through with his etic about who he was He could stand in a store in the ht Paul wished he could He tried to iine ould happen if he stood up in church and said, “This is the new love of my life, Ian Finnerty”

It was different for him This wasn’t a clerk in the mall This was his community, a community that had nourished his, the baptisroup’s support and acknowledges of life Paul had been drawn to the ministry to be part of those rituals, to ful side of life, the part that our life of work and business so often fails to value or even acknowledge The community couldlarger than his own concerns It was a vehicle for compassion and service A community can do more than any individual

Yet many of the same people who stood beside him to bless his union with Sara would shun him if they even suspected his relationship with Ian The ones who praised hi a troubled kid” would turn their backs if they thought he loved him It was official church policy not to allow an “avowed, practicing homosexual” to act as minister He simply couldn’t be both a minister and Ian’s “avowed” love

This was the darker side of coroup to have a sense of cohesion, a sense of being “us,” it has to define as outside of the group It has to define a “thees over ties It is part of the nature of community life To have an inside, a tribe must have an outer boundary Forin gay clubs, people like Andy, were not “us” but “the by his own reactions, Paul had to admit with some shame that he felt the same way I am not like him

Paul thought about Jesus, how he es of society—the poor, the unclean, the prostitutes, and the lepers Paul had told these stories over and over, but he had never felt the full impact of them until no brave and extraordinary an act that was Jesus didn’t have to associate himself with the outcasts He could have lived a comfortable life as a carpenter, accepted by everyone in his coar or a prostitute or a leper Yet he chose to associate with them without fear

If Paul had gained any sy associated with them, it was out of personal i

nterest He was motivated by his own needs and desires Jesus included everyone because they needed hi for it He illing to give his life That was love

How s asked of Paul compared to that Yet for the one person he lovedassociated with the outsiders Where was his courage?

The

Where does a mountain end? Mountains draw our focus to their snowcapped peaks and present us with the illusion that they are isolated, individual objects We send postcards and take pictures and try to put a frame around them But whatever border we create for the natural object we find beautiful is our own projection The mountain spills out in all directions It dips into the valley, which rises to the next peak There is no place where you can stop and say, “The mountain ends here”

Paul was staring at his computer screen A Word document was open It contained only one word: “The”

That was as far as Paul had gotten on his serot what the rest of the opening sentence had been “The” was clearly not enough to go on

Church attendance was up There were es were up, and the board had decided they just et to reopen the question of repairing the steeple There was an opento discuss and vote on the issue planned after services on Sunday

It seeone conclusion now that the steeple repair would be approved, soh impossible only a few months before—before Ian, before Paul’s new source of inspiration He wanted to give one last serht direction