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Paul’s Choice

Back in 1870, thite uide them to the top of Mount Rainier He took theo farther He warned the cliers, the storms, the winds, the avalanches, and above all, the summit spirits Even today, many Nisqually believe the snowline separates the sacred from the profane, and they will not cross it

That evening Paul sat in front of the television letting CNN neash over him The caller ID displayed on his television set: “Ian Finnerty” and the phone number Three ti out and go to voice ht on the phone on the end table flashed He could see it out of the corner of his eye as he watched TV He knew he couldn’t avoid Ian forever, but he was not ready to talk to hio away He had beco closer every day, co it

Getting to know Ian and to care about hi the pure aesthetic pleasure of Ian’s beauty Helping hi a friend—all of that could even be considered ade any of that—as long as he didn’t act on them

What was it about sex? Why did it seem so important? It was just the touch of certa

in body parts How could that have such significance that obsessions could be ignited, es could be destroyed, and careers ruined? It shouldn’t matter so much Yet some friendships could never feel complete without it

His desire for Ian had the force of an ocean, a tornado, or a mountain The mountain defies any effort by humans to tame it You can build at its foot if you like, but when the ardless of ordinances or zoning laws None of that exists in the face of nature Nature has its own order There is no eance or purpose It just evolves as it does, and whatever human order we try to create is temporary at best If sexuality was a force of nature, then wasn’t that closer to God than the human lae try to impose on it?

Ian and Paul had gone as far as they could as friends They both felt the netic pull of an attraction that could not be denied It was time for Paul to make a choice His only options noere to say yes or to say no Either choice would change things forever If he said no, the flirtation and the hour-long phone calls would stop, and Ian would slowly but surely drift away The idea of going on without Ian in his life was inconceivable and painful Saying yes was evenAn affair with Ian had the power to undo hi he had and didn’t knohat he would gain The perfect untouched dream would be replaced with an uncontrollable reality that would transform Paul’s life in all kinds of messy but maybe beautiful ways

After a few hours staring at the flashing red light on his telephone, curiosity got the better of him He picked up the phone and punched in the code to retrieve his voice h Ian had called three ties

“Paul, it’s an “I’d really like to talk to you Can you please call e

“It’s e said “I know you’re there, Paul I’ht We really need to talk about what happened I’ain in a half hour Please pick up this time”

Paul had just pushed the 7 a second time when he heard a car pull up out front He went over to theand looked out It was a silver sedan with the words “E-Z Taxi” painted on the side

“Shit!” Ian had gotten tired of waiting for Paul to pick up the phone

Paul went and stood behind the door He knew Ian was co, and normally he would have opened it, but he waited for the knock, buying some time He took a deep breath before he turned the knob

“Hi,” Ian said His hair was do He stood with his hands on his hips His expression was no longer nervous and apologetic but confrontational