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He is someone whom I will never be able to access, whose entire life will pass ainst each other only occasionally
3 ALUMINUM’S EROSIONS
After a recent cli trip to Jackson Falls, in rural Illinois, I sorted through old gear in my apartment I wanted to collect bail biners—the carabiners that allow a lead cli the route’s anchors, without forfeiting ear
As a teenager foraying into lead cli for the first time, I blundered and made mistakes As an adult, I’d accumulated wisdoreat equilibrium of the universe
But life is never that linear A cli—a climb’s unexpected detours and features are what make it hile
After years in an MFA creative writing progra a number of personal setbacks, I’d lost my confidence and my ability I hadn’t led outside in nearly nine uidebook to the area, and so I eyeballed a route that looked like a warrades harder than expected in the air I like strenuous, upper-body-intensive routes—this one required precise oppositional body positioning, balanced on the downslopes of bulges, reaching for damp holds I couldn’t find It required, th, of which I had no reserve
My girlfriend tried the cliher than I did, and then I took another turn before deciding I didn’t have the nerves to takeout the o fro
I re seventy-five feet of endurance, power, and flow, a classic for the area A few body lengths belowroute His wife belayed hian Twenty- to thirty-mile winds buffeted us, but that only added to the convivial spirit of the day Their child spoke in a lish, tiny plastic toys spread in the dirt around her, and so we irlfriend said playfully, after finding a bird that had disappeared froht, tucked away in a naturally formed nook
His fingers were bleeding onto the sharp pocketed holds—later I could see the stains froardless Because his route was less trafficked, rock crumbled and rained near his wife and child Neither wore hel and bailed
On my way down I reached over and snatched the biner Usually bail biners are a shiny prize you spot fro you stumble across This was the only one I’d cleaned on the way down froitiinal owner I would’ve handed it back, but the threesome had already retreated to whichever ca into the landscape around us, filled with bloooodbyes before disappearing around the corner
Instead I strung this otherwise unreside others I’d picked up in different geographies, in Oregon or California, Wyo or Thailand, each with its own backstory
On that day in Jackson Falls I didn’t regret quitting—I knew the cli for another day, when I understood the area’s style better, after I’d warle to part ith old gear A brand-new one would’ve been generic, unbranded This I associated with good memories Memory is funny that way—it imprints itself on whatever’s at hand, whatever’s convenient
In sorting old gear, I came across bone, or stitch-reinforced nylon sling I’d used this set for nearly a decade before retiring therades from UV exposure and abrasion Metal itself wears thin First the coating wears down, the purple varnish or orange paint, and the gloss of aluh Then the alu process, but this wear on nificant
Friction frori On roove on the botto spot that cradles the rope I can rest er in the concavity formed