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I chuckle and kiss the top of her head

As I lie with her wrapped in hts keep going over and over in my head

Was it like this for her when she ith Theo all those years ago?

Was it like this for him?

And how in the fuck could I have ever lived withmyself on this beautiful woman?

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Jules

I FEEL LIKE I’M FLOATING Weightless in black space I don’t feel s, face, or any other part of my body It’s like they aren’t there I exist, but I don’t exist I try to think and there are no thoughts inI try to touchI listen and hear… a buzzing sound When I turn to find the source of the noise, oes in slow motion Too slow for the movement I tried to make

Suddenly, things change The black space becoht I’htless, but weighted down, like my veins are filled with dense mercury Millions of memories flash in my head all at once They uish them Emotions slam into me Happiness, love, joy, pain, loss, fear, heartache, anxiety, horror, sadness, helplessness They all filter through over and over again untilto explode

When I open one I look around, and is I’raduated high school It was a s ht it was pointless since I was leaving the next year for college After I explainedon ave in

The apartment is just how I reany end tables, a any TV stand with the stereo syste with my collection of DVDs and CDs Pictures ofon the walls I wasn’t there long, but I re so happy to havewithin that first week

I spin around when so catchesa suitcase I set the suitcase down beside the couch andon the shelf

“Hello?” I call hesitantly, hout the room

My other self doesn’t acknowledge rabs the pictures, wraps them in bubble wrap, and places them inside a box I walk further into the roo beside her When I reach out to touch her, I’h her arers I can see the beige carpet through them

I glance back at theIt amazes me how happy and beautiful she looks as she hunize it as “It Feels Like the First Tiner