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“Colt—” she starts, my name a painful plea on her lips

“Hey” I turn her face toward ht now and ” I insert a wink, hoping to bring a s, it makes her sadder I want to kick myself

“It’s just…” she shakes her head before continuing “I’ve alanted kids, a whole house full of theht I could”

“Because of your addiction?” I ask quietly, rubbing ly

“Yes There’s no way I could bring a child into the world, knowing that I may one day cheat on their father Not to o out and have sex with randoers”

I nearly growl at the iuy, but I push it away

“I understand your reasoning, but I don’t think you give yourself enough credit You’re stronger than what you think, Abby” Before she can protest, I add, “Have you noticed the last teeks that you haven’t had one episode?”

I can see the wheels turning in her head as she thinks Elation brightens her face, before it’s wiped clean with a look of dejection

“That’s only because you’ve been there, and have been able to stave off the cravings before they start”

“That’s true, but you said yourself you feel them all day I always knohen you’re in pain, and I haven’t seen that look on your face all week Do you still feel it during the day?”

“Yes, it’s still there, but doesn’t seem to be as pronounced, but like I said, that could be because you’re there before they get bad Maybethe strain it’s been through That doesn’t mean it won’t come back full force like it was before”

I lay her back against the thick grass and loo back

“How about we just take it one day at a time and not question it? Who knohat the future will hold Who’s to say it will come back? There’s no way to know that, but if it does, we’ll handle it”

Her eyes bounce back and forth between aze, but I also see fear Fear of the unknown, fear of being disappointed, fear of being let down

Just as I told her, none of us knohat the future holds, but I do know that no et through it together There’s no way I’ll let it be anything other than that