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We plunge into the filthy, icy water

The current is swift, dragging us along

It’s dark, so dark that itan iron-clad grip on Aida, I reach up with one hand to see if there’s air above our heads My hand swipes the pipe, without any space betater and metal

That h as quickly as possible The current isus faster

We’ve probably been down here thirty seconds so far I can hold my breath for e more than a minute or so

She’s not struggling in id and terrified she is She trusts me God, I hope I didn’t make the worst kind of mistake

We rocket along,all the harder And then we shoot out an outlet pipe, falling down about five feet right into the Chicago River

The current drags us out to the center of the river, about twenty feet from either bank That’s not where I want to be, in case any boats co us I look around, trying to figure out exactly where we are

Aida clings toswi So am I

“How’d you knoe could get out there?” she asks

“I didn’t,” I say “How in the fuck did you come find me?”

“Oh, I ith you the whole tied our drinks, but I didn’t actually drink mine cause it looked weird”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I was going to!” she says “You had already slugged it down I don’t want to make this a cultural critique, but you Irish could learn to sip a drink once in a while Not everything is a shot”

I roll my eyes