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Ji house I mean, I knoe’re supposed to be mortal rivals and all, but I can appreciate a place decked out better than anything I’ve ever seen on House Hunters House Hunters International, even

It’s simpler than I would have expected—all creamy, sht fixtures that look like industrial art

There’s a lot of actual art around, too—paintings that look like blocks of color, and sculptures made of piles of shapes I’ is either a Rothko or supposed to look like one But I also know I couldn’t make a house look this pretty if I had a hundred years and an unliet to do it

Now I’lad I snuck in here to pee

I find the closest bathrooh, it’s a study in luxury—lovely lavender soap, soft, fluffy towels, water that comes out of the tap at the perfect temperature, not too cool and not too hot Who knows—in a place this big, I ht be the first person to even step foot in here The Griffins probably each have their own private bathrooet lost in this labyrinth

Once I finish up, I know I should head back outside I hadmy luck

Instead, I find myself sneaki

ng up the wide, curved staircase to the upper level

The main level was too formal and antiseptic, like a show home I want to see where these people actually live

To the left of the staircase, I find a bedroo to Nessa It’s soft and feminine, full of books and stuffed anihtstand, and several pairs of sneakers kicked hastily under the bed The only things not clean and new are the ballet slippers slung over her doorknob by their ribbons Those are beat to hell and back, with holes in the satin toes

Across fros to Riona It’s larger, and spotlessly tidy I don’t see any evidence of hobbies in here, just so on the walls I’m disappointed that Riona hasn’t kept shelves of old trophies and medals She definitely seems the type

Beyond the girls’ roo in there It see on a different level There has to be so around somebody’s house

So, I turn the opposite direction and find e library instead

Now, this is the kind of mysterious shit I came here for

What do the Griffins read? Is it all leather-bound classics, or are they secret Anne Rice fans? Only one way to find out