Page 95 (1/2)

I shook my head “I’m not okay I’m better but I’m far from okay,” I said softly

We stopped at a pizza shop on our way hohed and it felt good to be able to laugh freely and with enjoyment He told me jokes and made funny faces But the best hen he had pizza sauce all down his chin and he didn’t even notice It was nice to be able to do so so human with Jonathon Normally, ent out he didn’t eat, sio to the cinema so he could experience popcorn like a real live boy He said he’d like that and I kneould I had to go on with my life I had to learn that it would be okay to sh and just be happy I couldn’t be miserable for the rest of my life I had to live Eventually

Chapter Twenty-Six: Moving On

I wasfresh I had to in order to cope with therief I now lived with The i her arm come around o Then I would see nothing and the knife would soar through the sky and sink into e, air that would then turn into Benji Benji who died protecting ht played in ht because I kept reliving those events I just wanted it to stop The ie that played the h his abdomen His sacrifice hurt me the most because he was the closest to me Danny and Mason had taken Benji’s death pretty hard When you’re immortal you don’t have to deal with the death of other immortals very much and so this was a first for them But no et over it These events, like my father’s murder, will haunt et over it It will be a struggle every day I aift of life and somehow I have to appreciate it and ht be my last It’s hard to live your life in days not years or decades Most i old but instead I pictureevery day with theto let everything that happened go but it’s gling to deal with everything but he didn’t knohat to do and quite frankly I didn’t knohat to tell hi and I was haunted When you see so es you How can it not? Death isn’t always peaceful Death isn’t always quiet Or calht when you’re old and gray No, so and it’s violent When you die young it co It’s a surprise A shock You don’t see it co None of them did Jonathon told me to expect casualties but I could see that he believed no one would die and because he believed it I did to When you trust someone as much as I trust Jonathon it’s hard not to believe what they believe I told hi to move on and I was, but sometimes it can take months, even years, to move on

I had to take everything day by day Mo to appreciate the small stuff I had even learned to enjoy Mason and Jonathon’s bickering I never thought I would say that but I did It proved ere alive If you can argue you have to be alive right? I knew that I wasn’t the only one changed by that night; not just that night but every horrible thing she did Mason and Danny had lost soht they had become men instead of boys Jonathon always seelint in his eyes Patrick and Amelia always seeether Diana see Joseph seemed to be the only one as still sehed but on the inside I could see he was hurting just as much His jokes were just a cover up I wondered if any of us would ever be the saht hearted ways of when I firstover us now We were all just going through the motions They told me that conflicts between vampires rarely arise and that the situation with Selena was alree ure out the cause I hoped this would be the last skirmish ould have to endure I wasn’t sure how hteen years old but I felt hty I felt like all the tured ht never get doons for the rest of my life

I felt like all we did anymore was just sit around and stare at the walls and each other We didn’t talk anymore None of us Even my conversations with Jonathon were short It’s like none of us had the energy to do anything anymore We had all just retreated into our shells It was now the end of Septe alan to change for the good and the bad

I knew if I had the chance to go back and change things I wouldn’t I wouldn’t change a thing Everything happens for a reason and my life is no different My path has been laid out for me and I have to walk it Who I a back You can’t live in the past forever You have to get up and live your life I’ now

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Waking

I blinkedfro around in the living roo dorain That time was now

“Snap out of it,” I said standing It had been a little over a month since the battle in the back yard Their eyes followedthere but my muscles were stiff and squealed in protest froet up Move I know you can do it,” I said swatting Mason’s legs off of their resting place on the coffee table I was surprised that I was able to rabbed Jonathon’

s hands and with his help pulled hi It’s okay to grieve I still am but I can’t sit here like a zo Anything,” I begged and pleaded

Patrick stood and helped Aht We’re not helping anybody by sitting here We need to be productive”

“Exactly,” I said and smiled

“What can we do?” whined Mason Danny swatted hied “Sorry, I’ It just doesn’t seeone”

I went over and hugged Mason who had finally stood “Mason, I know Benji was your best friend aside of Danny but you’re not honoring his death by sitting herepranks and telling jokes that Jonathon was unfortunately the brunt of,” I said with a s hi your life He wouldn’t want you to sit here andin misery I know that Isaac wouldn’t want me to do that He would wantthat and I only hope it’s not too late I want to honorthat he didn’t get the chance to do I want to jus that scare me and prove that I am alive”