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“What are we ‘trying’ to do, exactly? Not talk to each other? Not spend any tiether? Not share our lives with each other anymore?” He pulls his shirt over his head and yanks it down in one fasteach other sure doesn’t feel like any friendship I’ve ever had”

The old eain at once We’re back at the Halloween party, and all I feel is everyone’s eyes on me “We both knew this wouldn’t be easy …”

“You’re da a ether”

“I just feel like … taking a step back is the only e can work out our personal issues”

“Personal issues?” He rolls his eyes “What issues? You er? How ‘super scary’ I am?” He uses air quotes on “super scary”—as well as a very unappreciated row up The world’s a whole lot bigger than Spruce, and most people out there are ten times harsher or scarier than I’ve ever been to anyone in this town—Hoyt included If you spent a second of time outside of the bubble of this ‘safe little place’, you’d see how the world’s really like It’s raw and honest And just like honesty, it’s rough around the edges and can cut you when you handle it wrong I’m sorry that I’m made of the stuff that comes from the world outside this small hick town, but that’s who I am”

I know he’s talking reason I know he’s trying to connect to me I know he even started this whole spiel with “I love you” Yet all I seem to have heard is “safe little place” and “srow up”

He’s never spoken to me in that tone of voice before

I deliver ht seem naïve to you Or sheltered I know I haven’t seen the world out there, but I—” The bell rings Neither of us care “—but I’m a kind person I try to be And I don’t think my compassion makes me weak I don’t think my … my limited perspective makes me less of an adult than you I don’t think it row up It just makes my definition of the world … different than yours”

“Different Yeah, okay” He shuts his locker with a sigh Then, he coolly finishes: “Whenever you decide what your definition of ‘friendship’ is, go ahead and let me know Until then, just put ”

I s hard, my eyes on Vann’s I always saw his dark eyes as beautiful, soulful, and deep But right now, they seem more like a void in space Like an abyss with no knowable bottoue sits the words: I love you, too At the end ofwith need, a touch I crave so desperately right now I’ behindthat’s happened, whether it’sstubbornly held back behind a wall of strength