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Suddenly, I’ my breath

“Between you and Bobby, right?” He nudges me “He and you have been sneakin’ around all summer, holed up in your roos, are ya?”

I frown “You know me better”

“Yeah, I usually do, but not lately You can tell me whatever it is,” he assures o tellin’ mama or papa I didn’t tell her when you were flunkin’ calculus, trustin’ you’d pick your grade right up Or when you and what’s-his-nahts you’d sneak out to hang with your friends at the arcade We got a bro code, remember? It’s sacred”

Bro code

Sacred

“I …” My voice comes out in a nasally croak I clear my throat “I don’t even know if … if I knohat it is, yet Or if I can even put it into words”

“You sure?”

My whole body’s tightened up

Why am I so petrified to say it? Where did all o?

I feel so fucking broken

He hugs ives it a fir smack “I won’t push you You can come to me when you’re ready But don’t try to do all of this alone, Jiives ht and playful smack over the back of my head “So don’t live in that head of yours and sulk for the rest of the suht? It doesn’t have to be ht?”

I give him a feeble, wordless nod

After another , my brother lets me be on the couch I listen to the clattery noise of hi so for Billy in the main house like they always do, before finally he departs with a, “I’m just a call or a short walk away, bro”

My phone’s in my hand suddenly I stare down at its blank screen, and the countless unanswered texts, and the countless unanswered voicemails I’ve left Bobby

I shut my eyes, lean back on the couch, and fall the fuck to sleep right there

When I open my eyes, I don’t knohat hour it is, but the whole house is dark, even the kitchen, and there’s a blanket overhere and laid the soft, fuzzy red thing over me There isn’t a sound in the house, not even a murmur or a whisper or a creak of a floorboard