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I put the gun to my head and took the safety off “I said no”

31

Ash

No one moved, or at least it seeun away and holding ainst azine clip froround, then he tossed the weapon to a chair behind him

All the while, his eyes didn’t move from mine

All the while, no one breathed in the room

Then, a guttural sound ripped from him and he barked, “Out! Now!”

Cavers left first

Jake moved at a slower pace and paused at the door “Boss—”

Raize letit shut Jake had a choice to either get hit or move out of the way He scrambled into the hallway and Raize locked the door

I moved away from him

“You’d kill yourself?” he demanded

I openedmy head

“Are you suicidal?”

I closedover to sit on Raize’s loveseat I rested my forehead to my knees and took a breath

Just one goddamn breath Tears blurred my vision

What was I doing?

I didn’t know anymore

“You told ive that up?”

I said nothing

“Answer me!”

I couldn’t I was choking on my tears

A norht ht’ve hugged me

This was not that situation This was so not that situation

Raize hung back, staring at me until I lifted my face

He winced and looked away for a moment, but then the wall slammed down over him He was unsettled

I al “You have no idea how to handle me”

He went still again, and when he finally looked limmer in his eyes I’d never seen before

He almost looked human, not such a robot He could’ve been souy? A jock? No A soldier—so a tour, had so

“I’m not suicidal,” I told him

“You put the gun to your head”

“I…” I didn’t even know I couldn’t explain what I didn’t know “Ask me about Jake in a different way”

“There is no other way”