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"Joshua What are you thinking? Do you want to coivenspring But this is college You worked hard to get here We're so fortunate you didn't have a second seizure after the one last fall, and now this?" Mom sweeps my hair—damp hair—off my—clammy—forehead It makes me shiver

She rubs the blanket over s with little wires stuck to my chest I think it’s heart monitor stuff

There's an IV in s, but I see Carl that way I close my eyes

Moain

"We're not angry with you, honey We don't knohat to do What do you need? What are you not telling us?"

Gee, I don't know, Mo wrecked me?

"Was it ?" She sounds, and looks, horrified at the prospect "I orried thatoff I didn’t knoould be like this”

I s again, which hurts so fucking bad I get a cold sweat

"If your throat is sore, that's because the doctors had to put a tube in your throat It was in there for almost six hours" My eyes flip open at that "They stuck a tube down your throat to help you breathe Just like when you go to sleep for a procedure If Jenna hadn't called the aht have died"

"She called the arit my teeth as more tears pop into my eyes

"Yes, she did," et you off the floor, but you were much too heavy Completely passed out"

I think I remember that

I look at Carl

"How ya feeling?" He stands up and comes to the other side of the bed For some reason, since Ezra left, Carl is the nicer one of he and my mom He always seems like he cares how I feel Whereas my mom mostly seems panicked, furious, shocked, or upset

"Not that good" I try it in a whisper, but it still hurts

"I'm sorry, bud" Carl rufflestears