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I shutto ease the weight I still feel dragging atheld by hi off to sleep—but for souess the lack of sleep is getting to me

I wrap my hand around the base of my dick Fuck, I came so hard just now I’m dizzy My hand starts to shake as blood rushes toback behind my eyes somewhere—a sort of pressure

Ezra, I think

But I can’t say it

I can’t do anything as my knees buckle

Second Quarter

One

Ezra

As soon as I send hie of the bed and press my hand to my eyes A tear spills out I look down at myself, where I’et air into s, but they’re locked

Oh, fuck

Did I hurt him?

I have to go say so to him

Or you could just go back to the trestle bridge where you belong

I feel nuet up and step toward the bathroom Like I’m in a padded room with Haldol in my veins

Where you belong

As I’ for the bathroom door, I hear the shower come on

Just walk in there

I play the words through my head: “Miller? Hey…I’m sorry”

I can’t say it, though I can’t let him know about me

It’s so sick that I ever did this with hiet control ofin me—I don’t know—just snaps

It’s because I stopped taking the Amitriptyline It made me feel like a zombie, and all that stuff made one off that My goal was to oal was to taste him Because I’m weak I’m selfish, and I know it

I should go back on the pills, so the nightmares will stop