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Hi Dad, it's your sort of bi but really ay son

He doesn't know I'm pretty sure he has no clue, and that’s the way I like it He's court ordered to pay for et off the hook, but I don't want to risk it

I grab a fishing pole out of the garage, stick it in the passenger's seat beside me with the tip of it poked out the backMy dad lives on the lake, with a dock right in his backyard and all So when there’s nothing else to do, we all can fish Kaye, my stepmom, can ask me aard questions they should know the answer to, like where I'e and that sort of stuff I'll be faux polite to my half sibs Ritchie and Pipsa, and they'll be just friendly enough so I'll i well if I lived with Dad

Except I would never live with Dad Kaye doesn't want hty ways—and one of them is that I don't have a bedroos over the kitchen, so nights when Dad or Kaye get up to get water or a snack, the fridge light wakes me up

I tell myself to cut the feels as I drive over Doesn't matter if I’m not really a member of Dad’s family I lucked out with Carl and my mom More than lucked out I'm more fortunate than lots of people Carl's Methodist, but a liberal one He told h school has a husband, and the two of theht now—definitely not with God Hates Fags in the house—but when the tiht, I know I'll still have a seat at our table

My little pep talk doesn't sink in I feel shitty as I pull into Dad’s driveway and park behind the closed garage Shitty like an outsider pretending not to be one I feel almost worse because I don't think they “want” me to feel excluded But I still am

Despite all that, the afternoon is better than I thought it would be Dad’s had a drink or two, so he’s feeling relaxed Kaye is enerous withwith me, so I take them down to the dock and watch as Ritchie puts worms on our hooks

Dad is launching into the story of how I threw up in a bucket of crickets the first time I baited my own hook when a red and black ski boat whizzes by and then fishtails, spraying water over the beach before reversingBrennan Dude’s been er

“WHATCHA DOING, LADIES!”

I’ my hand up in a hen I spot another ball cap—this one purple, black, and white The sight of it makes my stomach flip

I squint under my own Auburn ball cap, and I see Ezra’s face, relaxed and stretched in a grin, sunburn on his cheekbones Another second—my heart hammers—and I notice Marcel with them

“Guess there’s no practice today,” I murmur