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I didn’t start hearing the voice until I stopped thecrazy, but he listened, really listened to ’s side effects was hallucinations and psychosis

Throwparade

The good news? Nikolai was able to reverse engineer a few things and fix it

The bad news? It was too late for the lab rat, aka ot poisoned—it finally showed itself in ure out for a while where or when I picked it up, or what triggers it, and since theme anyway…

I will forever be in a state where I am pulled between myself and this fuzzy dark world of blood, disaster, and Sim

God, I hate Sim

Siine he does, but hoill I ever really know? It’s not like I’ to him No, he talks to me, he’s aware of me, and the only reason I even kneho he is, is because of the cryptic journals he leftto read

It’s terrifying having conversations with ive an exa the stupid Spiderman movies with Tobey McGuire and the Green Goblin as an example

Lame, so laaaaame

I would black out, I would hear the voice—my own, and then I would wake up in a co; other days, they were short, like having a why my body was so sore

I finally found out—after Nikolai keptout at all I was just taking a back seat and letting someone else drive

If the guy driving wasn’t a psychopath, then et the suppressant into my system in time

I flex against the knots and remember the first time Nikolai tied me up this way, the first tiive control back in a way that takes it away

Where I have no choice

Some use Shibari sexually; others use it to be set free And it helps It fucking helps so much that it’s a relief whenever I’m bound

Because at least then, I knoon’t go anywhere

I’m safe

Tied

I’m Maksim, not Sim

I hang my head and take a deep breath

The door opens

I hope it’s not Izzy