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“No” I s, ht, my body ceases to function as I stare at the wall “No, I don’t want that, I don’t want to be a vegetable—the Family can’t see me like that” Izzy can’t see me like that

I refuse it

“I’ll fly down in about five days,” Nikolai says in a clinical voice “Until then, I don’t want you to think I’ve given up I have a few leads fro used for rape victims and trauma Therather than nothing I want to encourage you again to prepare friends and family”

How the hell do I prepare them when I can’t even prepare myself?

“You’ll take care of it, right?” My voice trembles “In the end? And it won’t hurt?”

“Death”—his voice is low —“is a little like sleep You’ll close your eyes and expect to wake up in the ; you’ll be at peace, I promise”

Says athe weapon

My dad won’t take it well

My mom will be a mess

Tears fill er sister

Of King and how Valerian’s near-death al’s soul dead

I have nobody to blame but my own body

And fighting it just ends my life sooner

I have no answers

No saviors

All I have is her The girl wearingthat waiting just oes by faster This short tih

I hang up the phone

It’s how I findwith my soul to hold her hand

I sound normal

I wish I were more drunk

Instead, I’

Do I really have the heart to spend the last few days on this earth with her? Without telling her my secret? Does that make me selfish? I can’t decide All I know is that I’m not her friend

I can’t be her friend anyht now

I don’t look at her as a friend