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He had to leave the the people he loved more than life itself Maybe next tirab Lissa's wrist in his sleep; maybe next time it would be her throat

A shudder wrenched through hiht If only he could believe?even for a moment?that he was innocent But he couldn't The evidence pointed to him, but that wasn't what convinced hi stronger to go on He knew himself, knew the dark, twisted torment that was hiswithout even a hint of

Toe hi colder and infinitely worse But it was all he could do, the only way he could keep his loved ones safe The only way he could atone for the atrocity he'd committed on that poor, innocent family

He sank again to his knees, barely feeling the cold

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dampness of the floor His chest ached with the need to cry, but his eyes remained painfully dry

I'h his ret With each repetition he was rey sounded, how hollow In the past weeks, Lissa had given hione He'd even started to think he wasn't such a failure

Meed like shards of glass in his soul Lissa, soothing the sweat-da hih the pain-filled darkness of the near blackout; Lissa sitting in the big rocker on the porch, with Katie curled in her lap, drawing pictures of letters in the cool night air; Lissa naked, astride hi kiss

Regret and sha acrid and bitter in the back of his throat

Christ, it had felt good to finally be a father A husband It was better than he'd ever i it Soat the darkened ceiling, breathing hard, aching to be invited into a loving circle that existed only in his mind

Until Lissa had ether and for bond of love And, miracles of miracles, she'd held her hand out to him

Fool that he was, he'd taken it, clung to it, held it to his heart and let himself believe

The selfish act had hurt theirls, and Lissa, believe in the circle, and then he'd ripped the shit out of it and stomped on all their hearts With each breath he took now, he saw his drea be-

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yond his grasp, slipping through fingers too nu on