Page 104 (1/2)

He's knows, Jack thought tiredly He knohat a feeble excuse for a father I am

Then Caleb yawned and blinked heavily His eyelids fluttered shut With a final sputtering sound, he pushed his thumb in his mouth and laid his head on Jack's chest He was asleep in moments

Jack lay there, stiff as a knife blade, afraid tobaby He stared in awe at the sainst his chest An odd sense of peace slid through Jack's body as he

237

watched his son sleep Without thinking, he brought his hand up and stroked Caleb's soft cheek

He doesn't know, Jack thought suddenly Caleb had no idea his daddy was a coward, and a crazy one at that He didn't know Jack wasn't worthy of unconditional love He knew only that without his parents, he was alone

Try

That's all Lissa had asked of Jack That he try Try to be a father, try to express his love for his children

He wanted to Christ, hoanted to But he was afraid What if he tried and failed? Wasn't that worse than not trying at all? Better to be no parent, as his own father had been, than to be a father who hurt his children

Try

Don't do it You'll fail You'll hurt them all

Of course he'd fail?that was a given He'd failed at everything he'd ever tried

They deserve better, Jack He glanced down at Caleb, and this ti tears Emotion curled around his heart and squeezed so hard, his whole body ached

He sed thickly, tasting the metallic aftertaste of tears He owed them a father who at least tried

The way it was now, he was being the father he'd been taught to be The realization sickened and shaun by his own self-centered, silently cruel, unforgiving parents?