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Elsa stopped sleeping well, or at all, really She was plagued by night crops The livestock—two horses and ts, all bones and holloere being kept alive by eating the prickly Russian thistles that greild The sone The animals stood still for hours at a time, as if afraid that every step could kill them In the hottest

part of the day, when the telassy and unfocused When they could, the family carried pails of water to the corral, but it was always too little Every drop of water that came up from the well had to be carefully conserved The chickens rarely ic; they lay like feathered heaps in the dirt, not even bothering to squahen they were disturbed Eggs were still being laid, and each one was like a nugget of gold, although Elsa feared that each one would be their last

Today, like s, she ake before the rooster crowed

She lay in bed, trying not to think about the dead garden or the dried-up ground or the coh the s, she sat up and read a chapter of Jane Eyre, letting the familiar words soothe and coot out of bed, careful not to waken Rafe After dressing, she took ahusband He’d been out in the barn until late last night and finally stu of whiskey

She had been restless, too, but neither had turned to the other for solace They didn’t kno, she supposed; they’d never learned to comfort each other Or maybe there was no comfort to be found when life was so bad

What she kneas that the sli In the past feeeks, she’d noticed how frequently he turned away from her Was it since the dust storms had ruined their fields and tripled the work? Or since he’d planted the winter wheat with his father?

He stayed up late, reading newspapers as if they were adventure novels, staring out s, studying maps When he finally stumbled to bed, he rolled away from her and thumped into a sleep so deep that soht

Last night, as so often, when he finally ca for him to turn to her, touch her, but even if he had, they both would have remained unsatisfied He never spoke while they were intih the act as if he regretted it before he began So ended than she had been before it began He said he stayed away from her because she conceived so easily, but she knew the truth was darker than that As always, it came down to her unattractiveness Of course he had difficulty wanting her And clearly, she was not good in bed; he rushed through it so

In earlier years, she had drea how they touched each other, exploring his body with her hands and her , she’d felt frustrated and swollen with a desire she could neither express nor share She’d waited years for him to see it, see her, and reach out

Lately, though, that dream felt far away Or maybe she was just too tired and worn out these days to believe in it

She left their bedroom and walked down the hallway She paused at each of the kid’s bedroo faces squeezed her heart At ti and happy, always laughing, her ar When Elsa had been Loreda’s favorite person in the world

She went into the kitchen, which s bread Her in-laws didn’t sleep anymore, either Like her, they held on to the unproven hope/belief that ht save them

Pouring herself a cup of black coffee, she drank it quickly and washed out the cup, then stepped into her brown shoes—the heels alrabbed her sun hat

Outside, she squinted into the bright sun, tented a gloved hand over her eyes

Tony was already at work, taking advantage of the relative cool of theit early because he was afraid the afternoon heat would kill their horses Both geldingsh to make Elsa weep