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I thought talking about my dad would answerthat carving in the tree I kno he felt when he did it, so It’s like I know a part of him now and it makes me want more

I tried to hide it froether was Tuesday while Mo an equitation clinic and Aunt Winona and Mark were gone to Seattle Cissy and I spent the day on a big blanket in her back yard I tried to pretend that everything was the saives you Xray vision or soa secret from me and I don’t like it

I told her she wouldn’t like the secret, either, and she said if we really loved each other ouldn’t have any secrets

I do love you I said

Prove it

I could have ht not pass Language Arts or some other bullshit, but the truth was I wanted to tell her I’m afraid, I said

Of what?

I told her she wouldn’t like me anymore once she knew the truth, but I knew that school was starting in ten days anyway, so I ht as well tell her Brian and Erik Jr and the rest of them would do it for me

She said she didn’t like e that

So I told her everything, how my dad was Dallas Raintree, half Native A for work and found a job at Water’s Edge, and how he h no one wanted hihts he got into And I told her he killed a woman and went to prison for it When I was done I couldn’t even look at her It was the longest I’d ever talked about my dad and I felt sick

She et me to look at her, but I couldn’t do it I just stared out at the canal as if I’d never seen it before She reached over for my shoulder and pulledeach other

I know all that, she said My dad told ran testified against your dad?

It’s weird hoord can surprise you soht about ined what he looks like and how he lives behind bars and what he thinks about randot to prison How they proved he was guilty

Do you think he did it? she asked

I didn’t kno to answer that How could I? He’s like this ghost to s there was al—a dirty pair of cowboy boots, a white hat I used to play with, a voice saying soe I didn’t understand