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She would have to change that Toet back to the business of living She had to, whether she wanted to or not

Feeling a tiny bit better with this goal (she’d made it before, but this time she meant it; this ti shed, where they kept enough bales of alfalfa for a week Opening the door, she pulled out the wheelbarrow and stacked it with flakes of hay

In the barn, she snapped on the lights and began feeding the horses, going froain, and she was very nearly s when she un-latched Clem’s stall door

“Hey, girl, have you missed me?”

There was no answering nicker, no whisper of a tail whooshing from side to side

Vivi Ann knew the s

Cleainst the stall’s wooden wall, herhead lolled forward

Vivi Ann stood utterly still, knowing that if she tried to move she’d fall to her knees It took work just to breathe In that moment, in the cool, shadowy familiarity of this barn that had always been her favorite place in the world, she rereat ether

Remember when you stepped in that hornet’s nestwhen you jumped the ditch and I landed in the blackberry busheson State for the first time?

Sing hard, Vivi Ann moved forward and dropped to her knees in the pale pink shavings at Clem’s belly She reached out and touched thethe coldness that shouldn’t be there There were so reat animal—her last real link to her mother—but none of that was possible now Vivi Ann’s throat felt swollen; her eyes stung Hoould she go on without Clem? Especially nohen so much had been lost?

She scratched Cleirl I kno much you hate this dark stall”

That made her think of Dallas and the cell he was in, and loneliness and grief overwhel into the fetal position against her co flank, and closed her eyes

Goodbye, Clem Tell Mom I said hey

Ti The year 2000 drained away in a blur of gray and earten at five (too early, Vivi Ann thought; she should have held him back a year, would have if Dallas were here, but he wasn’t), and T-ball at six and soccer at seven Sheto feel guilty about Aurora always offered to come with her to the prison, but Vivi Ann refused the offer She could only do it alone

Then, finally, in the first week of Septe for