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“We will be away froo to Alaska, just like we talked about It won’t always be like this ”

“Alaska,” I say, reht Sun Yes”

But a dream like that—any dream—is far away now and it only makes my pain worse

I look at hireen eyes, or hts reflected Either e break apart and Sasha says to our sluo take care of Baba ”

Leo, sitting on the kitchen floor, starts to cry, but it is a pale imitation of my son’s sadness, of his tears I know I have seen him burst into tears when he is healthy Now he justleaks water frory and exhausted to do more

“We’ll stay here, Papa,” Anya says solemnly “I’ll take care of Leo ”

“My good children,” Sasha says He keeps them busy while I wash Mama, and dress her in her best dress I try not to notice how shrunken and thin she isnot really my mother at all, but

It is true what they say Children beco of this cycle as I gently wash my mother’s body and button her buttons and pin her hair When I a and I bend down and kiss her cold, cold cheek and whisper ood-bye

Then it is time

Sasha and I dress for the cold I put on everything I own—four pairs of socks, my mother’s oversized valenki, pants, dresses, sweaters I can barely fit into my coat, and once I have wrapped a scarf around my head, my face looks like a child’s

Out we go, into the cold, black day Streetla snow We tie Mama to the little red sled that once was a family toy and now is perhaps ourit through the heavy snow, thank God

I am weak I try to hide it froh the knee-deep snow is a torture for asps I want to sit down but I know better

In front of us, a man weaves drunkenly forward, clutches a streetla hard

We walk past him This is e do noe have beco hard o home ill see his blue, frozen body

“Don’t look,” Sasha says