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“You knew,” Vera says, not bothering to wipe her eyes, although her tears are freezing instantly, sticking her eyelashes together until she can hardly see

Mother nods

“When they took him away?”

She nods again

“You let o every Friday,” Vera says “If I had known—”

“You had to learn in your way,” her mother says “And I hopedof course”

“I do not knohat to do now,” Vera says She feels disconnected from herself, from her own life

“I have been waiting for you to askNow you know: this is our life Our Petya will not come back This is e are now ”

“What does that a

“Live,” Mama says quietly

And Vera understands It is ti with it

“I do not knohat to dream about,” Vera says “It all seems so impossible ”

“Dreams are for men like your father They are the reason we mourn him now, in private and secretly, as if we are criminals He planted in your head all kinds of fantasies Let that go Quit being his children and becos to do out there; I promise you this ”

Theirand kisses both their cheeks When they are close, she whispers, “He loved you two more than his words, more than his own breath That will never die ”

“I ain