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She was elbow-deep in soapy water when, at about ht, Jeff came into the kitchen to find her He took her in his ar journey and the tears she’d held back during the last few days, and the wrenchingout He held her, stroking her hair as if she were a child and saying the great lie, It will be okay, over and over again When there was nothing left inside, she drew back, feeling shaky, and tried to s that in ”
“That’s what you do ”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing Should I fall apart?”
“Maybe ”
Meredith shook her head It only s like that He seelued back together, but she knew that if the worst happened—if she shattered like glass—some pieces could be lost forever
“I’ve been there,” he said “You helped h my parents’ deaths Let me help you ”
“I’m fine Really I’ll fall apart later ”
“Meredith—”
“Don’t ” She hadn’t meant to say it so sharply, and she could tell she’d hurt his feelings, but she was barely hanging on here She had no energy to worry about anyone else “I s here The girls are tired Why don’t you take them home?”
“Fine,” he said, but there was a guarded look in his eyes she didn’t recognize
After everyone had gone, Meredith stood in the clean, orderly kitchen, alone, and wished almost immediately that she’d made a different choice How hard would it have been to say, Sure, Jeff, take me home and hold me
She threw the dishrag on the counter and left the hiding place of her mother’s kitchen
In the living rooe easeled picture of Dad In a pair of crumpled khaki pants and a black sweater, with her short black hair a er ready for her first safari than a world-farapher
But Meredith saw the grief in her sister’s bottle-green eyes It was like tooover, and she knew Nina was like her: neither of them kne to express it or even really feel it as fully as they should, and she hurt for both of them, and for the wo the saether, dissipate so it But that wasn’t who they were She put down her wineglass and went to Nina, the little sister who’d once begged her to remember Mom’s fairy tales and tell them in the dark when she couldn’t sleep “We have each other,” Meredith said
“Yeah,” Nina agreed, although their eyes betrayed theh