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"So, what do you know about South Africa?"

CHAPTER TWENTY

The first twelve months of motherhood was a riptide of cold dark water that all too often sucked Kate under

It was e how ill-equipped she turned out to be for this blessed event that had been her secret girlhood drea, in fact, that she told no one how overwhelhtly and saidthat had ever happened to her It was even true

Yet sometimes it wasnt

The truth was that her gorgeous, pale-skinned, dark-haired, brown-eyed daughter was more than a handful From the moment she came home Marah was sick Ear infections followed each other like cars on a train; just when one ended, another began Colic caused her to cry in-consolably for hours at a time Kate had lost count of the ti roo daughter and quietly crying herself

Marah would be a year old in three days and she had yet to sleep through the night Four hours was her record so far Thus, in the past twelve ht Johnny always offered to get up In the beginning hed even gone so far as to throw back the covers, but Kate had always stopped hih she often felt like one

Johnny had a job; it was that si up in the night was her job At first shed done it willingly, then at least with a sh, when Marah let out her first wail at eleven oclock, Kate found herself praying for strength

There were other probleone to hell She was pretty sure this was yet another ripple in the no-sleep pool No amount of makeup or moisturizer helped Her skin, always pale, was J P Patches white lately, except for the shadows under her eyes, which were a lovely shade of brown Shed lost all of her baby weight except for ten pounds, but when you were five-foot-three, ten pounds o sizes She hadnt worn anything but sweats in almost a year

She needed to start on an exercise program Last week shed found her old Jane Fonda workout tapes, a leotard, and leg war

"Todays the day," she said aloud as she carried her daughter back to bed and gently tucked her in beneath the expensive pink and white cashift fro Marah chose to sleep with No matter what toys or blankets Kate offered, Tullys was the one "Try to sleep till seven oclock Mommy could use it "

Yawning, Kate went back to bed and snuggled up to her husband

He kissed her lips, lingering as if , and then he murmured, "Youre so beautiful "

She opened her eyes, staring blearily at him "Okay, who is she? Guilt is the only reason youd say I was beautiful at this godforsaken hour "

"Are you kidding? With yourI want is another woman "